Finding Your Way After a Divorce

There are a lot of people happy to offer advice about how to proceed with a divorce once you've set your mind to it. Far fewer offer anything like a rational accounting of how to proceed once the divorce is finalized, or what to be prepared for. Going through a divorce is hard for anyone, but the struggle is rarely over just because the ink is dry on the court documents. Knowing what to expect following your divorce will also help you decide whether or not the end result is actually something you want.

The Mundane

It's a bit cold to look at a divorce in terms of money, but the harsh reality is that your household will have its earning potential cut in half in the aftermath. This fact alone can place a great burden on you if you've also been awarded primary custodial rights to your children. Make sure you consider this as you begin looking for separate housing, building a monthly budget, and planning your future saving or spending habits.

Financial support may be ordered by the court, but circumstances can arise which may prevent it from being ordered, or which may prevent your spouse from being able to pay it. In the end, your financial responsibilities will now be your own, and if you're currently unemployed or under-employed because of your spouse's earnings or your own obligations, it's important that you remedy that situation quickly. This should, by no means, be a reason for you to stay in a failed marriage, but it is important for you to see it clearly and prepare for it.

The Emotional

Regardless of the state of your marriage prior to a divorce it can be hard to adjust to life afterward when your home is missing the presence of a person you'd spent a majority of your time around for years. Many people go through a period of depression following a divorce, or somehow feel regret for their choice. Make sure you have a strong support system in place to help you cope during the initial period after your divorce, and, if you don't have a convenient system in place, make sure you find a good counselor to share your feelings with.

Speak plainly with your kids, and avoid referring to your spouse negatively around them. Regardless of how you feel about your former spouse, that's still your kids' other parent, and they have every right to still have affection towards them. This can sometimes be the hardest part, making it even more important that you have a healthy means of venting your emotions on the subject.

It's easy to find a lawyer who will help you complete a divorce, but once all is said and done what's really important is that you're in a better place, emotionally and physically. Don't overlook your own needs and the reality of being single, or you'll find yourself far worse off than you were while you were still married. If you're thinking about divorcing your spouse, consider looking into the websites of local specialists, such as, to determine how to proceed.